The One that Got Away by Adrianne Byrd
When I sat down to write this blog, I thought that it would be a fairly simple assignment. Until I realized that I didn’t really have a guy in my past that I necessarily thought got away. The truth is closer to the ones I’ve kicked to the curb and how I prayed that they would never show back up on my door again. Okay so that may sound a little harsh, especially coming from a supposed hopeless romantic. Sue me. I can’t help it that I’m just as picky about my men as I am about the heroes in my novels. I have my own ideals of what defines a good man and frankly the characters that have crossed my path just aren’t cutting it.
Okay…so I haven’t always had that view.
Once upon a time, I did think this one guy was supposed to be The One. And for awhile I even thought that I was the one that had screwed things up. I was too strong. Too independent. Too loud. Too anything and everything. Whatever the heck he tried to make me believe at the time. After a few years of pulling and tugging-we broke up. In between that time, I started thinking I had a good thing and messed it all up. I started thinking those just so-so dates were really the things that fantasies were made of. I tried to convince myself that all those annoying habits were just adorable characteristics. So what he was always broke. He was a man struggling against the system. A woman should stand by her man through good times and in bad.
I started pouring my heart out on page after page in my diary. Proudly counting the days I had managed NOT to call him. But those made up fantasies kept chasing each other in my mind. Then of course the inevitable wondering if he was seeing someone new which cause me to panic at the thought of him jumping back into the pool before I did.
During that time, my grandmother gave me more eyes rolls and impatient sighs than Florence Johnston gave George in the entire 10 seasons of The Jefferson’s. The whole melodrama lasted five months.
I called.
Another woman answered the phone.
My fantasies took a dark detour—something about me, him and a gun with a silencer. I’d change it up every once in a while and the weapon of choice would be a sawed-off shotgun but I think you get the point. Suddenly, I had to have him back. In my mind, I had put waaaay too much blood, sweat and tears into him to just let the next woman benefit from my hard work.
My grandmother just shook her head and told me that once you threw something in the trash you don’t go back and dig it out. It was my turn to do a couple of eye rolls with that one. So I dusted off my shoulders, put on my best freak’em dress and went out and got my man back.
Big mistake.
Once I had him, I quickly started remembering why I didn’t want him. The arrogance, the ego and that constant…breathing thing he always did.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Would it be too much to ask for him to stop doing that? So in the end, I was right back at giving him The Talk. You know: “It’s just not working out. I want to say it’s not you but it really is you. Please don’t call. I’m changing the numbers in the morning. I wish you nothing but love, yada, yada, yada. Waiter, check please.”
So like I said, sometimes they don’t get away.
They get thrown away.
So, do you have one that got away or that got thrown away? Leave a comment to win an autographed book from Adrianne Byrd!
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About the Author
National Best-selling author Adrianne Byrd has always preferred to live within the realms of her imagination where all the men are gorgeous and the women are worth whatever trouble they manage to get into. As an army brat, she traveled throughout Europe and learned to appreciate and value different cultures. Now she calls Georgia home.
In books, Adrianne found a way out of her awkward teenage years and into a world of fictional friends that would stay with her for a lifetime. It wasn’t long before her imagination took flight and she was writing her own love stories. Within a year, she completed her first book, which she vowed would never see the light of day.
Ms. Byrd has won many awards, including RT’s 2004 Best Multicultural Romance, Romance in Color’s Readers Choice Awards, and Slam Jams Emma Award. She has also been featured in many national publications, including Today’s Black Woman, Upscale, and Heart and Soul. She has also won local awards for screenwriting. For the future, she looks forward to continue creating characters that make people smile, laugh, and fall in love.
Visit Adrianne online
About the book – click cover to purchase
A good man can be hard to find, and curvaceous Jalila Goodwyn has had enough bad dates to know. But while Jalila is describing the hilarious details over her latest encounter over brunch with her girlfriend, another diner overhears her story and makes her an offer she can’t refuse. Television producer Keenan Armstrong believe’s Jalila search for love would make a hit reality show. Suddenly, Jalila is the start of QUEEN OF HEARTS, with a string of bachelors vying to win her attention—though it’s really Keenan that’s turning up the heat. But before the big finale, Jalila will have to figure out what’s real, what’s fantasy and what’s truly worth fighting for…
LMAO!!!! “that breathing thing he always did” ROTFLMAO!!! IN OUT IN Out LOL that was bad even his breathing annoyed you. Ms. Adrienne i love your books, currently reading Queen of his heart.
Wanda,
I BE like that sometimes. I hope you enjoy the book.
I was turned on to your books earlier this year by two of your die-hard fans, Cathy Atchison and Rhea Alexis Banks. I read the Unforgetable series…. LOVE them… I just purchasd this one and hope to get to it by the end of the month.. I am excited to read it.
I’m giving Cathy and Rhea a big mental shout out.
Adrianne, You crack me up!!! Of course I’ve known Adrianne forever. We’re in Georgia Romance Writer’s together, and so I was there at the beginning of her career. It’s wonderful to experience her success. Wow, when you say live within the realm of your imagination, let me tell you, it seems limitless and that’s amazing. Keep up the great work! Carmen Green, a great big fan!
Thanks, Carmen. We’ve both come a mighty long way.
Heyyy Carmen! Thanks so much for stopping by and supporting your fellow author!
LMAO….absolutely hilarious. In…Out…In…Out….toooooooo funny! AND yes, don’t we all have those men that we once loved to love, then hated to love, then loved to hate, and finally tried to love again? I know I did…and I sent him away just as you described. It was his walk, the sound of his voice, even the way he combed his hair that I initially thought was cute, but eventially annoyed the crap outta me. Once I realized that those things wouldn’t change, I rolled…”check please”….and it’s ok…although we look back, we never consider digging through that trash bin again! Lesson learned, Gramma is ALWAYS right…they just have that intuition to know when HE isn’t the ONE!
Ms Adrianne, I LOVE your books. Say You Love Me was a wonderful masterpiece to me! I’ll be reading Queen of His Heart before the end of the week…
Keep writing…so I can keep reading!
Thanks, Venus! I missed my grandma’s great wisdom. Keep me posted on what you think about Queen.
I told someone I now longer wanted to be involved with him and this person had the gull to call my home with me answering the phone and asked to speak with my sister. When I asked why he wanted to speak with my sister he tells me because he needed my sister to speak with ME because I did not know what I want or needed. Needless to say after I got through with him and pass the phone to my sister I never heard from him again.
HILARIOUS!
That is definitely a lot of gall!
Adrianne,
Girl you need to listen to your grandmother she is a wise women. I always say never go back. I did once and it was a big mistake. He hadn’t changed and all he wanted to do was put food in the refrigerator. I was like what about the rent, lights, gas. I don’t think so.
I almost gave away the one. I tried to hook him up with my good friend. She kept playing him off, so I decided if she didn’t want him I’d take him. He’s my hubby now. She still kicking herself saying he was the marrying kind. LOL
Been there, done that one too. Congratualtions on snagging your man, LaShaunda!
Awww! What a sweet story. I’m such a sappy romantic. LOL
Adrianne,
LOL!! I sooo get that breathing in and out thing. Sometimes taking out the trash means kicking it to the curb and leaving it there. ~ Celeste
So true.
Very nice blog – I guess you just needed to check yourself to make sure you made the correct decision the first time around.
But our first instinct is usually correct and once you move on – there is no need to look back.
I am looking forward to reading Queen of Hearts as I have started reading your books this past year when a couple of your fans introduced me to your work.
I love how you seem to weave humor in your stories.
Thanks, Beverly. You can heal everything with laughter I always say.
LMAO!!! Adrianne, you are too much! I thoroughly enjoyed this. You are truly the queen of comedy. In…Out…In…Out! Did you throw out the freakum dress along with the loser? LOL. Keep the laughs coming! ~Maureen
Maureen, A lady always has a freakum dress handy.
So. I dated one of my frat brothers not once, but twice in college. After the second breakup I realized that he really had no clue what he wanted, he just liked the idea of being with me. We went through phases of him becoming a muslim and wanting me to rock 3/4′s to him trying to change the type of passionate, outgoing person I was. Years later our paths crossed because of the passing of a frat brother. He started talking to me, saying all the things I missed hearing and making me think there really was a reason for our paths to have crossed again. He reminded me I was a queen and needed to always be treated as such. he talked about blending our families and lives and making me his queen, then I realized the reason our paths crossed was to remind me never to get involved with him again. This joker got married and told me it was a Muslim thing and did not change how he felt about me and where he wanted our lives to be.
Oh yeah and I LOVE your work!
Glad you heeded the life lesson. Glad that you enjoy my little stories.
Great post! This had me cracking up, Adrianne! Funny as all get out… You know it’s time to kick a brother to the curb when his breathing gets on your nerves. LOL.
And I absolutely loved Queen of His Heart. The book was funny and sexy… and did I say sexy? Classic Adrianne Byrd!
Gwyneth
Thanks, Gwyneth. I hear you have a hot one out too. I’m gonna have to check it out.
Adrianne,
You are too funny!
The one that got away from me was actually thrown back also. I even heard him bragging once about the size of his “package”. When I had to correct him in from of his brothers it was on. I don’t know what made him so mad. All I said was, “what is the use of having the tool if you don’t have the handbook on how to use it properly!” Let’s just say, I had to toss the guppy back and wait on the big fish! Thank God I did. BTW, I loved Queen of His Heart. Patiently waiting on the next release.
You’re too cold, Patsy. Too cold. BUT I love it.
ROFLMBO!!!!
LOL! Now how come I can relate lol!
No I really don’t have one that got away. In my mind at the time I did. But looking back…nope!
Excellent post Adrianne!
You ask, “So, do you have one that got away or that got thrown away?”
If I have to break up with a man, the breakup will be serious and wanting him back over time is not going to be an option for me. A couple of men I’ve known and had feelings for but for whatever reason we just never made that connection . . . have never made me pause long enough to wonder . . .”what-if?” I believe the reason I’m this way is because I’ve always held firm to the notion that I can never move forward in life, or in love, looking back. It has always been best for me (especially my sanity) to keep old boyfriends and those “what-if relationships” moving — to the left!
Great advice, Marlive. I like your style.
So it looks like I’m the only one who will give a second chance? I’ve done it a couple of times and probably would again. I’m the eternal optimistic, and that probably explains why I always end up with a broken heart.
I was laughing so loud Gerald came into the computer room to see who I was talking too. Thought I was on the phone, I loved it.
Adrianne,
First of all, I love all and read all of your books. You are a great storyteller and page turning until the end. If a guy needs to be kicked to the curb, make sure you kick him into another state. This way it will be years before you see him and you will wonder what you saw in the first place. Now, bald on top and a gut.
Roxie,
Bald with a gut and demanding that the woman still be in top shape. It’s crazy out here.
GREAT blog!
Evelyn, who NEVA looks back
Thanks, Evelyn! I still look back every now again only to just marvel at how far I’ve come.
Adrianne, I have to tell you your post had me cracking up!
Hi Adrianne:
Wonderful post!!
I’m still trying to recover from laughing so hard.
And yes, there’s wisdom in your Grannie’s words.
Take good care. . .
“…that constant breathing thing…”? Cracking up!
Yes, I had one that I had a crush on but then years later we went out and was sorely disappointed. Sometimes a fantasy is better than any reality.
Adrianne,
I read your comment and all I could do was laugh. I’ve been in a similar situation where I thought I had thrown away the 1 only to realize I should have left him where I found him. And its sad that it does get that bad to the point where you cant even stand the sound of his breathing. I’ve read all of your books and have to tell you that I’ve never been disappointed. Keep up the work as long as you can and I’ll keep reading.
I’ll do th best I can!!!
Adrianne,
I’m the Cathy that introduced Cilla to your books, as well as both of my sisters. Some of the scenes in your books are so comical that I have truly embarassed myself in public with loud, long, hysterical laughter. And I believe that laughter is truly good for the soul. I’ve kicked a few guys to the curb in the past, although I’m married now. One I let go when I found out that he did not intend to marry me because his mother thought I wan’t good enough, she was white and she wanted him to marry a white girl. We’d been together two years. What was he doing wasting my time? Two others turned out to be con artists/users. And then there was one that was a closet alcoholic. Enough said! When I look back on it, I walked out on quite a few relationships before I finally found my current husband. (Oh yeah, there was one divorce.)
Cathy
Dang, Cathy!
You’ve really been through the ringer. Thanks for passing the word on my books. I really appreciate it. And I’m especially thrilled that you finally found THE ONE.