Top Five Romance Essentials
by Maureen Smith
I married my college sweetheart, Lorrent. Fourteen years and two kids later, I’m happy to say that we’re still going strong. Family and friends often ask me the secret to our relationship. I don’t have a magic answer. I’d have to say it’s a combination of things—things I consider the essential ingredients of romance.
Friendship. I think the basis of any good romance is friendship. My husband and I were the best of friends before we became lovers. Over the years, our friendship has sustained us through life’s ups and downs.
Chemistry. On our very first date, Lorrent and I went to the movies and saw “The Vanishing.” At least, I think that’s what was playing. I had a hard time concentrating on anything with Lorrent holding my hand. The way he stroked my palm sent shivers up and down my spine. It was all I could do not to jump his bones right there in the theater! Over the years, our attraction to each other has never waned. Lorrent can still melt me with a look, a touch, a kiss.
Open communication. I think it’s important to be able to express your needs and concerns, in and out of the bedroom. How can your partner know that something isn’t working for you if you never tell him? Communicating your needs in a loving, respectful manner is the best way to achieve your desired results.
Spontaneity. It’s so easy to get stuck in a routine, especially when you have children. To keep our romance fresh, Lorrent and I make a point of going on dates at least once a month. We also take full advantage of having the house to ourselves. While the kids were away this past summer, I woke up one morning and decided to surprise Lorrent with a romantic candlelight dinner. When he arrived home that evening, I had soft music playing, the table set with candles and a bottle of chilled wine, and the fragrance of pineapple-crusted salmon wafting from the oven. I’ll never forget the look on Lorrent’s face when I met him at the front door dressed in a sexy outfit and heels. And that was before I showed him the chocolate body sauce. LOL! It was an incredibly romantic, memorable evening. Moral of the story: When the mice (kids) are away, the cats (parents) should always play!
Adventurous imagination. It’s fun to take a walk on the wild side and indulge your naughtiest sexual fantasies. Whether you’re into stripteases or whips and chains, variety is the spice of life!
So now it’s your turn. What are your romance essentials?
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About the author
Maureen Smith is the author of thirteen novels and one novella. She received a B.A. in English from the University of Maryland with a minor in creative writing. As a former freelance writer, her articles were featured in various print and online publications. Since the publication of her debut novel in 2002, Maureen has been nominated for three Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Awards, twelve Emma Awards, and has won the Romance in Color Reviewers’ Choice Awards for New Author of the Year and Romantic Suspense of the Year.
Maureen currently lives in San Antonio, TX with her husband, two children, and a miniature schnauzer. She loves to hear from readers and can be reached at author@maureen-smith.com. Please visit her Web site at www.maureen-smith.com for news about her upcoming releases.
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About the book – click cover to purchase
Warrick Mayne has spent twelve years blaming Raina St. James for ruining his sister’s life. Now the self-made millionaire has got the perfect opportunity for payback—knocking down Raina’s luxury day spa to build an office complex. But his plan has met a hitch, in the delectable form of Raina herself.
He may be her enemy now, but long ago, Raina had a secret crush on her friend’s gorgeous older brother. And time has only enhanced Warrick’s appeal. When an innocent business trip to Warrick’s out-of-town estate turns unmistakably seductive, they succumb to their electrifying mutual attraction. But it’ll take more than one encounter of sensual healing—no matter how blissful—to open Raina’s and Warrick’s eyes to the passionate, heartbreaking truth.
Besides the one you mentioned, I would add honesty. If you can’t trust the one you’re with, who can you trust? I think honesty goes with having open communication.
Absolutely, Shelia! No romance without honesty. Thanks for weighing in!
Awwww, Maureen & Lorrent sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
I think all your essentials are quite essential to a loving and long lasting relationship. Especially the spontaneity. Routine quickly gets old in relationships so shakin’ it all always works.
Great post!
Hmmm…kissing in a tree. Have to try that one. LOL! Seriously, girl, you’re so right. Spontaneity is so important, especially as the years go by. Gotta keep things interesting!
LOL! Her essentials are definitely key to a long & lasting relationship. You know, I would really love to hear from some men on these topics. If y’all know any men who wouldn’t mind chiming in, send them this way.
Great tips, Maureen! I can just picture the expression on your husband’s face when you met him at the door… Go head with your bad self!
Gwyneth
Thanks so much, Gwyneth! Every so often, I figure the man deserves to see me in something other than the shorts and T-shirt I like to wear around the house. LOL.
That is so true Maureen! They’ll appreciate the effort and you’ll end up with a nice reward! LOL
Alrighty Ms Maureen taking “Notes” for when I find my Mr. Right. Open Communication is the key for me. Chocolate Body Sauce hmmmmmmmm
Absolutely, Tina! Open communication is a must for me, too. And I always say if you don’t have any chocolate body sauce handy, feel free to improvise. Melted chocolate frosting works, too! He, he, he!
ROFLMBO!! Maureen, you are a mess!
Maureen, that was great!! You know I took down my notes for when I finally get my hooks in you know who! Thanks for sharing with us.
)
Thanks, Felecia! So glad you enjoyed it. Sharpen those hooks and go get your man!
Maureen, I’m taking notes also. As I look over you list It seems that 3 of the 5 essentials were missing the 1st time, so am I re-grouping and when the next time comes I will be “sho-nuff” ready. lol! Love your books,I have them all and can’t wait for the next “Wolf “brother story to come out..
Hey Susan! The second time around will be the charm.
So glad you’ve enjoyed my books, and I hope you’ll love Michael’s story, too. Thanks for stopping by!
All of the above you mention. And because I am a fan of yours I feel I can say you are really a big chocolate fan. But the biggest thing for me would be trust. Being able to trust and respect one another everything else would fall in place. Even all the shared spices of keeping your relationship together and making it stronger………
Hey hey hey, Fonda! Yeah, you know how much I love my chocolate. Mmm-mmm-good!
I see I’m not the only one taking notes. Great tips for my future life.
I agree with honesty which I pair with trust.
Glad you enjoyed the blog, Claritta! Thanks for stopping by!
Anytime you need some ideas, just hop back over to this blog and grab all the ideas you need. That’s the whole idea behind the site. I’m a die hard, hopeful, hopeless romantic. I like to celebrate love all year ’round. I don’t need a special day. It’s definitely better when it’s spontaneous.
Now I understand how you can write all of those “hot” stories.
A wonderful list and should be used as a checklist – if you want to understand if your relationship is for real and the best for you.
Thank you, Beverly! Mr. Smith definitely benefits from the stories I write.
LOL! I bet he does! All I have to say is I’ll be looking for some chocolate body sauce! :::shhh…don’t tell anyone I said that:::: ROFLMBO!
LOL, Renee! I’m tellin’!
hmmmm…. the thought of hot, melted, chocolate icing sounds just heavenly.
I’ll have to pick up some on my next grocery trip! I too consider chocolate a very important part of the food pyramid in my life! NO day is complete without at least a taste of it!
Ms Maureen…these tips are so relevant and TRUE for experiencing AND keeping the romance in any relationship. Thanks for the reminder AND for writing more about those wonderful Wolf men.
Love it, Venus! Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! Happy shopping…and tasting!
Venus, try some chocolate whipped cream. QQ….LOL
Renee! Chocolate whipped cream? Oooh, I’ll have to get some of that!
YES…me too!
I have to agree with you Maureen and the other ladies. Friendship, trust, honesty, compatibility and spontaneity all have to be there in order for a relationship to be successful. And like the other ladies I plan to take notes so that when I find that special someone I’ll have enough to keep him busy for a while. And just think, with that imagination you have as proved from all of your books, your husband will be smiling for life. I do believe you will have a limitless source of book ideas as well.
Hey Erica! Glad to provide any inspiration I can. And when your special someone comes along, make sure he understands and appreciates just how special YOU are!
Alright Ms. Maureen!! *two snaps*
I will tuck these in the back on my mind and use them when and if the time comes.
Not if, Jen, but when. Your time will come.
Great to see you here, Jen!!! Not if–when!
Great points. Honesty is very much key to a lasting relationship. Communication and mutal respect for your partner. Great post! and great books!!!!
Thanks so much, Lashonda! And you are so right. Honesty, communication, and mutual respect–no romance without ‘em! Glad you stopped by!
Awww Maureen, I really enjoyed your Love bio. You’ve taken all the good ones but I will agree with open communication. As we get older and our bodies change, reassure each other that your love is as strong now as it was when you first started out, no matter how long you’ve been together. I would also say, be open to try new things.
I agree Linda!
Hey Linda! Glad you enjoyed the blog, and amen to everything you said! For women, it’s definitely important for us to be reassured that we’re still desirable (especially after having kids). And being open to new things keeps the romance alive!
Hi Maureen:
WOW!!
Great tips and great post!!
Your point about open communication is a MUST in a relationship.
Take good care:)
Thank you so much, LaConnie! And I’m so glad you stopped by!
I wish i was a fly on the wall when you met Lorrent at the door. I would have loved to see you pull that escapade off with a straight face. Lol We need to go stiletto shopping together!
LOL, Angie! Girl, you would have been so proud of me. Oooh, I could use another pair of stilettos!
For me they are communication, communication, communication, games (a three day Scrabble or Monopoly game, or seeing who can get the best score on book worm on the computer) and lots of laughter. Togetherness working on a 2,000 piece puzzle together.
I like your essentials Toni!
I love these ideas, Toni!!! Laughter is good for the heart and soul!
Hi Maureen,
I agree with you and for me TRUST is so important. Like everybody else would have love to have been a FLY on wall that day you surprise your hubby. I love and I love romance it doesn’t have to be something over the top for me. I have to try that chocolate sauce sound YUUM and I ADORE chocolate.
Smooches
Louise
Hi Louise! Yep, Mr. Smith went to bed very happy that night. LOL.
Go on and get you some chocolate! Chocolate = Nature’s aphrodisiac!
Great blog, Maureen. You nailed the essentials. No wonder you can write such wonderful books!
Thank you so much, Evelyn! I’m humbled to receive such a compliment from a wonderful, prolific author like you. Glad you enjoyed the blog, and thank you for stopping by!
Ahhhh sukey-sukey now!
Ms. Maureen, you have definintely taken this virtual tour to the next level with these FABULOUS romantic essentials.
I could not help but chuckle over the moral fortitude you shared — “When the mice (kids) are away, the cats (parents) should always play!”
You asked, “What are your romance essentials?”
Just mix in “commitment” with those five romantic essentials you’ve share and real love prevails!
Hey Marlive! Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the blog. Yep, I love “playing” when the mice are away. LOL. And you are absolutely right–commitment is a MUST! Thanks for weighing in!
One more romantic essential that I don’t think anyone’s mentioned yet. A sense of humor. You’ve each got to be able to laugh with–and sometimes at–each other. Humor can break up very tense moments, because when it is undergirded by those other things–trust, honesty, friendship, etc.–it’s never malicious and a great way to spice things up.
Great one, Patricia! I agree–a sense of humor is definitely essential to romance. Laughter is good for the heart and soul. Thanks for weighing in with your thoughts!
My romance essential… after learning a few lessons… would defintiely have to be open communication, chemistry, open mindedness
Good ones, Ali!!! All very integral to romance. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!