Okay, so I’m 39 years old, been married and divorced, but I still want the fairy tale. Is that so wrong? In this day and age, is it so wrong to want to loved by one man exclusively, one man who treats me as his equal and makes me feel special? Is it so wrong to want a man to be my hero, someone I know I will grow old with and someone who I will love unconditionally and treat them just as special as they treat me?
Are there any men out there like the ones in the romance novels I love so dear, or are they only in those stories and unrealistic? Should I set my expectations a little bit lower and settle for what I can get?
I would love to hear from you, so please share your thoughts, your concerns, etc. This site is all about love, the good and the bad!
I don’t think it’s unrealistic to expect more sometimes. At least I hope not, because I do, too, heh. I know that some may be looking for perfection, and *that* is unrealistic. But, after almost settling for less before, I know I can’t/won’t do that to myself again.
I know what you mean. When you settle, you lose every time. Of course, you can’t expect unrealistic expectations but when you are secure and know exacty what you want, there’s no need to settle.
Exactly Shelia! There’s only one perfect man, and He definitely is not walking the face of this earth. But I do know what I want and I won’t settle for less anymore. If that means being single for the rest of my life, then so be it. It will be a bitter pill to swallow, but I’ll deal with it.
I know I won’t settle again either. I’m not bitter and I don’t hate my ex. We did have a lot of good times. But I have learned from that marriage experience. I know that there are some things I need to work on myself.
I believe in true love, romance and the things I read in my favorite romance novels. I think there are men out there who can be like that.
Me too!
No it isn’t wrong. If that’s what you want then that’s what you want. I’m sure they are out there however I’m not all that optimistic.
I wonder if my being not all that optimistic is part of whats hindering that “perfect for me” man to come my way?? Am I blocking my own blessing? I can definitely be jaded in my views, based on all the bad experiences I’ve had over the years.
Yes! There are men out there like in the romance novels. I know because I’ve been married to one for 24 years. Is a perfect man? No. But he’s my man and he treats me like the queen I am, our daughters like the princesses they are and our son like the prince he is.
Don’t give up on love. Your man is out there!
Victoria, that’s great to hear that. Several of my friends share they feel the same way about their husbands. They are good men so I know they exist.
Victoria, that is so wonderful! You are truly blessed in that aspect. I’m not going to give up!
I am like you Renee. Fell and divorced. But I have not given up that there is someone out there. He doesn’t have to be perfect or drop dead gorgeous (though that would not hurt) LOL.. Just loving, God-fearing, respectable, honest, fun and he has to LUV books LOL
Sounds like my kind of man also Cilla! LOL
Don’t give up true love is out there. You have to stand still long enough for it to find you. I married my childhood sweetheart twenty years later after a horrible first marriage. Marriage is not always easy but we love each other enough to constantly work at it. Trust your heart you will find it.
Kim
Houston, TX
I actually thought about trying to rekindle the romance with my childhood sweetheart. Quickly found out that was not a good idea. Neither of us are the same person we were 25 years ago. We have differences that, in my opinion, are insurmountable and will only cause problems down the road. They actually did cause a big dispute, which is what made me back away. So that idea has been nixed. Plus, I’m still too emotionally raw from my divorce earlier this year. It was not a smart idea to try to jump into something so soon after that. Oh well, live and learn.
I’ve been married for 13 years to a man who can give many a romance hero a run for his money. Don’t give up the dream.
Wow Consuela, that is so good to hear! Congrats on 13 years of marriage to a wonderful man.
No, it’s not wrong. We’re close to the same age and I too still want my “Mr. Right for Me.” I’ve kissed enough frogs so I’m ready for my Prince. LOL
I think the characteristics we look for in a man is possible to get but it might not happen on our time table. Although my last relationship could have left me bitter because of what happened, I’m still a hopeful romantic and know that my prince charming is somewhere waiting for our paths to cross.
Will he be like the characters I read or write about? Maybe or maybe not. What I like about romance books is that heros are flawed in the books but they have good core characteristics that any woman would want in a man, regardless of his educational background or financial status.
Sheila, that is what I like about the romance books also. I hate reading books about perfect characters who do no wrong or have no flaws. That is just not realistic. I’ve got many flaws myself, so I don’t expect perfection from anyone. I just want the one that is perfect for me, flaws and all. I know the relationship won’t be perfect either, but as long as we work at it, all will be good.
I say never settle but be patient. Work on having a great life whether single or dating. Pamper yourself and enjoy new experiences. I believe when you are happy and fulfilled with your current situtation then your heart and mind will be open to love. I am a firm believer that an individual’s outlook and behavior attracts certain type of people.
You know Shantal, that is exactly the mindset I have right now. Right now, I’m enjoying life as a single person, even though it gets a little lonely at times. I’ve taken several little trips that I normally wouldn’t have taken and I’m going on the Brenda Jackson cruise next year. If I were still married, that would be a big bone of contention. But now that I am single, I don’t have to worry about that. I can go on the cruise and actually enjoy myself.
I say keep looking because there is some fine, strong men out there just waiting for you. The men we read about they are out there every so often I find the quality that I read about I see them in my husband so don’t give up ladies.
Louise
I don’t plan to. I’m just going to be patient and wait! It will be hard though! LOL
Do not settle…do be clear about who you are, what your requirements, needs, and wants are…and do not believe in the fairy tale. We don’t see Cinderella’s whole life with her Prince Charming – it ends as soon as they fall in love so you never know what happily ever after means. The Prince Charming syndrome is a set up for men to fail and women to get hurt. I would love the opportunity to help women find their Mr. Right and show them a 4 step process to find Mr. Right with clarity and purpose. Women who have the fairy tale relationship in their heads tend to well, stay single whereas, women who apply success principles to dating and finding and keeping love do have amazing and lasting relationships. Get your free attracting love ecourse at http://www.RelationshipSuccessExpert.com. Pain is no longer necessary in looking for and finding love!